10 Of My Favorite Non-Christmas, Christmas Movies
Santa Day/X-Mas is almost upon us, and so I decided to put together a quick list of some of my favorite “anti-Christmas,” or non-Christmas-Christmas movies. To fit this loose criteria, these movies take place primarily around the Christmas holiday, or have pivotal Christmas scenes/vibes. The idea is to watch a movie that happens to take place on Christmas, rather than the film is about the holiday itself. Yes, the season to be jolly can be a theme, motif, explicit backdrop and/or a plot device here, but the main demarcation is that these films are decidedly Christmas “flavored,” or Christmas-adjacent, as opposed to let’s say, a film like Miracle on 34th Street, or The Santa Clause, and/or in the Christmas compendium of folklore/mythology/spirit of Christmas (i.e. It’s A Wonderful Life, The Family Man, etc.). Let me also say I’m not patting myself on the back here when I introduce this list, nor do I want to say I don’t like “Christmas movies” per se, because I do love me many a smarmy, heartwarming retelling of familial bonds, love and what-have-you; this list is meant to be fun, something I’ve thought about throughout the years and finally decided to put down as we are near that time of year.
Here’s a diverse selection, nothing too obscure and fairly accessible through today’s streaming services. Without further ado, and in no real, particular order:
#1. Mean Girls (2004)
Written by Rosalind Wiseman and Tina Fey
There’s a strong flavor of Christmas within this film, and is definitely not a Christmas film the way we know. Funny, iconic, endlessly quotable to this day, Mean Girls feels as though it hasn’t aged the way we collectively remember other films from the early aughts. Where’s there to start with this film? The costumes, acting and direction, screenplay, music—I can’t help but feel a good portion of this movie remains rewatchable, and is as every bit a great coming-of-age comedy among its predecessors: Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You, etc.
10 memorable quotes that came to mind:
“Four for you Glen Coco! You go, Glen Coco!”
“…stop trying to make fetch happen. It's not going to happen!”
“Is butter a carb?”
“Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are off-limits to friends. That’s just, like, the rules of feminism.”
“On Wednesdays we wear pink.”
“She doesn't even go here.”
“It's not my fault you're, like, in love with me or something!”
“Get in loser, we’re going shopping.”
“It's not my fault I have a heavy flow and a wide-set vagina.”
“You know that I’m not allowed to wear hoop earrings, right? Yeah, two years ago she told me hoops earrings were her thing, and I wasn’t allowed to wear them anymore. And then for Hanukkah my parents got this pair of really expensive white gold hoops and I had to pretend like I didn’t even like them. It was so sad.”
#2. Enemy of the State (1998)
Written by David Marconi
An unofficial sequel and spiritual successor (of sorts) to Francis Ford Coppola’s 1974, The Conversation, this 1998 powder-keg of an action-thriller is - in my opinion - a perfect exemplification of the non-Christmas, Christmas movie. Taking place during the jolliest season, Enemy of the State is anything but a Christmas film on its own, and as the criteria states, just so happens to take place during Santa fever. I’m a big fan of director and producer Tony Scott (True Romance, Man on Fire, Domino, Top Gun, Crimson Tide, etc.), and within this wild, sensational flick remains the injection of late 90’s-early 2000’s Jerry Bruckheimer over-the-topness that now ages so delectably vintage. Will Smith is excellent here, and pairs wonderfully with the one and only, great Popeye Doyle himself, Gene Hackman.
What we get from Enemy of the State is the typical innocent man framed/fallen into odds against his will plot we’ve all seen countless times, but there is a nice, satisfying journey of action-thriller written solidly, and has nice bits of Smith’s comedic personality drizzled throughout. Having recently rewatched this in the past couple of years, I can attest it’s held up to the test of time, and though some its stylizations, flimographic techniques feel somewhat dated (lots of Dutch-angles, for starters), this is a great piece of filmmaking through and through. Enemy of the State is one of those movies you find yourself watching in a “I can’t explain but I can’t take my eyes off the screen” sort of way; overall a great non-Christmas, Christmas movie.
#3. Die Hard (1988)
Written by Roderick Thorp, Jeb Stuart and Steven E. de Souza
This one sort of comes close to cheating, as there are some who firmly believe Die Hard is really a true Christmas movie 100%, and though it takes place on Christmas, Die Hard - in my interpretation - merely uses the holiday as a backdrop and plot device, rather than a focus on any given spiritual/holiday mantra which Christmas films typically do. Just as Mean Girls, there aren’t a lack of memorable lines or one-liners in Die Hard—such as my personal favorite, read by the late, great Alan Rickman: “Now I have a machine gun. Ho ho ho.”. It’s hard to imagine now, but Die Hard broke the mold during its time of what an Action Hero™ was supposed to look/act like; instead of big, brawly muscles, Bruce Willis was casted as more of a “survivor” archetype, one that was fast talking, witty, funny, messy and clumsy, but an average-Joe who could rise up to meet the challenges ahead.
The movie is paced great, the direction is good, the acting is awesome, Alan Rickman as our villain really is believable, the Nakatomi 1980’s-noir-y vibe/ambiance is such a great setting, and overall the movie doesn’t take itself too seriously—which is why I think ultimately, it works in favor as opposed other action movies that end up being rewatched as unintentional comedies. Die Hard understands the willful suspension of disbelief it asks of its viewers, and I think that agreement makes for the “right” kind of tongue-in-cheek vibe. If you haven’t seen by now, I’d highly recommend it, especially as an “anti-Christmas” movie.
#4. Eyes Wide Shut (1999)
Written by Stanley Kubrick and Frederic Raphael
I’ve listed this movie already in a couple of other lists, so I will briefly synopsize it what what I’ve written before and copy/paste as to save (us) time: What are dreams, things that happen in our subconscious, or conscious fantasies that pervade our daydreams? Is there something greater underneath it all, or are we, at the end of the day, just a large group of under-sexed, unhappily married, mammals? Eyes Wide Shut takes it upon itself to play around with said questions, all in the form of a psycho-sexual thriller. For me, this is the best Stanley Kubrick film, and it feels like a greatest hits or amalgamation of his entire body of work. There’s no clear answers given in this movie, and what conclusions to deduce are fickle given that, Eyes Wide Shut doesn’t make the “realness” of its plot pertinent to tell a story. I like to think this film is about class, and how the escapades of society’s petty-bourgeoisie are ultimately unknowing, myopic, occult fever-dreams that are a parallel reality to our own.
This film takes place around and on Christmas, in NYC during the late 1990’s, and though the street scenes were filmed on a lot, as an ex-Manhattanite/NYC-expat myself, Eyes Wide Shut does a good job of making it feel like we’re wandering Greenwich and the East Village. Does this movie have a happy ending? Only you will be able to answer that, I think, and for what the film leaves open to interpretation do I think it was meant purposefully to be filled by our own imaginations and fears. This is as “anti-Christmas” movie as you can get, in my opinion, and my favorite Stanley Kubrick film.
#5. The Apartment (1960)
Written by Billy Wilder and I.A.L. Diamond
Aw man, do I love me some Billy Wilder films (Some Like It Hot, Irma La Douce, Ace in the Hole, Sunset Boulevard, etc.), and The Apartment ranks up there with one of my favorites, along with Jack Lemmon, who remains on my list of favorite actors of all time. Shirley MacLaine of-course is no exception, and delivers us a memorable performance of one Fran, a woman caught up in transactional debauchery between Lemmon’s character, C. C. Baxter, who’s agreed to let his firm’s higher ups “borrow” his apartment for their infidelity escapades. The film takes place throughout the holiday season and has a wonderful vibe to it without being a bonafide Christmas movie.
As a film of a different era, the filmmaking here is/feels a little more “honest,” in that classical sense and way of approach, where there aren’t quick, fancy-hip cuts, fast action sequences and the like of modern movies, but have what we may now deem extended shots, dialogue-heavy scenes worthy of a stage play, moments of dare I say quietness as we breathe with the film (pretentious as it may sound, that’s the best way I can try to describe what I’m thinking). The Apartment does remain a rewarding, heartfelt yet somewhat cynically-hued romantic comedy, or dramedy, and there is something about these kind of movies that resonate with me on an individual level long after I’ve finished watching.
#6. Batman Returns (1992)
Written by Bob Kane, Daniel Waters and Sam Hamm
“But what about Nightmare Before Christmas?”, you may ask, and my response is that I’d consider that one to be a Christmas movie, while Batman Returns really has nothing to do with Christmas other than that it just so happens to take place around the holiday, and thus, fulfills the criteria of being a Christmas-adjacent film. I will say right off the bat (no pun intended) that while I don’t think this is director Tim Burton’s greatest work comparatively, Batman Returns is definitely a vibe, resonant of darkly comedic, Christmas-gothic imagery/aesthetic that works. Penguins with rocket launchers? Skating clownish henchmen with hockey sticks in confetti snow? I mean, if you’ve ever seen anything by Tim Burton, then the last descriptions will strangely invoke some kind of imagery to picture in your head.
Michael Keaton and DeVito of-course are spectacular with almost everything they do, but what knocks it out of the ballpark for me here is Michelle Pfeiffer’s depiction/transformation(s) between the neurotic, shy wallflower Selena Kyle and her leather-clad alter-ego, Catwoman, to which she embodies/delivers a really, really good characterization of one interesting, though very disturbed woman during a midlife crisis (and I must say, entirely too relatable, even uncomfortably so—a younger self I was, to Kyle’s whole pre-Catwoman schtick). This is a fun movie, not particularly great on its own merit, but as a non-Christmas, Christmas movie, Batman Returns pays dividends by its holiday vibes throughout.
#7. You’ve Got Mail (1998)
Written by Miklós László, Nora Ephron and Delia Ephron
It was between this and When Harry Met Sally for the Nora Ephron romcom, and I decided on this due to the sheer nostalgia factor, coupled with You’ve Got Mail’s powerful Christmas scenes. To be fair, this movie doesn’t revolve around Christmas primarily, but it does manage to have a holiday vibe to it, and what we see of Christmas truly lands. To newcomers of the Lands of Early Internets™, AOL/America Online at one point in time was the internet, in the same colloquial way we say we need to Xerox something rather than make a photocopy, or BandAid versus using a bandage, etc. So, the technological obsoleteness won’t be everyone’s charm, but for those that do remember an age/time where the internet was treated more as a friendly, niche companion rather than the colossal, adversarial relationship we have with it now, this movie is a real treat.
Yes, I’m quite the sucker for the unofficial Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan trilogy (Joe Versus the Volcano, Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail) and it’s no secret that I love the late-screenwriter/author/whatever-else Nora Ephron and her work, so it was a no brainer to include this. If you weren’t already aware, You’ve Got Mail is pretty much an American adaption of a 1937 Hungarian play, Illatszertár (en, “Parfumerie”) by Miklós László, or if you’d like, another film based off the same play, 1940’s The Shop Around the Corner starring Jimmy Stewart and Margaret Sullivan. In short, I unironically love this movie, romcoms as a genre, and this one feels like a cozy winter’s morning, bundled under blankets and sipping your favorite warm drink as it snows outside.
#8. Black Christmas (1974)
Written by Roy Moore
In terms of genre/feel/tone, Black Christmas is pretty much the opposite of the last pick in this list. Black Christmas, directed by - funnily enough - the same Bob Clark who would go onto direct A Christmas Story, is not for the faint of heart, despite lacking any grotesque, graphic depictions of violence and/or gore. Some may say this is the first slasher as we would come to define the genre, before Halloween or other films which would typify a legacy after, so know what you’re getting into here. Yes, this film revolves around Christmas for its plot, but it is decidedly 100% not a Christmas movie, and to play devils advocate here, one macabre “anti-Christmas” film with no real moral or idealogical takeaway other than, don’t go into the attic of your creepy old sorority house.
While not my favorite slasher by any means, this film takes the cake for creepiest move I’ve ever seen to be anywhere within the ballpark of Christmas, and yes, that includes the next pick on this list. Some of what we hear during the killer’s phone calls still gives me the heebie-jeebies, and overall, Black Christmas has this very unsettling tone I can’t describe. It wasn’t overly creepy nor scary to me personally, say the way John Carpenter’s Halloween was (and still is, given the right setting), but it’s difficult to put into words just how…off the mood is—juxtapositioned/iconoclashed against Christmas. If you are a horror fan and haven’t seen this yet, make sure to treat yourself to this cult classic during the holiday season.
#9. The Mothman Prophecies (2002)
Written by Richard Hatem and John A. Keel
Yes, I’m a big proponent of this movie and think it’s underrated for what it is. Once more, I will repeat it when I say this film somehow manages to be a better Silent Hill film than any of that franchise’s attempts to leap into the silver screen. The Mothman Prophecies is loose adaptation of the same named book written by one of the film’s principal screenwriters (Keel), and let me tell you it is miles ahead of its source material in my opinion. What could have easily become forgotten into the heap of countless schlock adaptations, The Mothman Prophecies manages to outmaneuver its pulpy origins by focusing less on the cryptozoological creature/monster/phenomenon, and centers around a story of grief, trauma and overcoming one’s own inner demons. This film’s inclusion makes the cut for managing to a psychological-thriller/horror that takes place on/around Christmas, involves Christmas in its plot, but at the same time has nothing to do with it.
I’ll copy/paste my previous blurb here: Though not without faults, The Mothman Prophecies is a criminally-underrated psychological, supernatural horror-thriller. The movie takes a lot of creative liberties to deviate from its source material, which, in my opinion (having read the Keele book of the same name) saves this screenplay from devolving into nonsensical, early-UFO-and-vaguely-racist-conspiracies gumbo. At its core, The Mothman Prophecies manages to be a monster movie without having a monster on-screen (spoilers), the shtick/premise being how grief and trauma inform our phenomenological responses, the Mothman itself anthropomorphizing a person’s hauntings, their inner-turmoil, if-demons. Most of the tension comes from John, Richard Gere’s character loosely-based on the source material’s author, how he descends upon a small, eerie town, drawn to it without any semblance of logicality. Stylistically, this film feels as if a love-letter to many things: David Lynch, Silent Hill, John Keele’s novel, Jacob’s Ladder, and a soupçon of Stephen King. The tone for this film feels unrivaled, and I love it without end.
#10. Goodfellas (1990)
Written by Nicholas Pileggi and Martin Scorsese
There is so much Christmas in this movie! Of-course, of-course, detractors might point out that the extreme and graphic depictions of violence, drug use, etc. make this a very non-Christmas (or non-anything holiday related) movie, but I disagree. Goodfellas, a movie about the fairy tale/allure/mythos of the Italian-American mafioso, I feel also has its parallels with a Christmas-like story, in that Henry Hill can be interpreted as one whom invokes the holiday spirit by getting everything he wants, only having to reconcile his materiality for that of his soul (and also, conveniently, his life). Okay, that’s a little bit of a stretch, but there is a fair lot of Christmas festivity, backdrops, vibes, even music (Frosty the Snowman; Christmas [Baby Please Come Home]) and traditions are captured here with a certifiable vibe/mood/ambiance.
Am I half-joking…? Yes and no. I think it would be understandable to say that when one thinks of a movie relating to Christmas, or even full-serve “Christmas movie,” 10 out of 10 times they probably aren’t going to say, “Goodfellas,” or even think of it, but I’d like to take this time to persuade you otherwise. True, the film’s writer and director Martin Scorsese doesn’t really have anything even close to resemble a family or holiday film in his catalogue, but if I had to choose one (I didn’t), I’d pick Goodfellas as something of a Dickensian-mobster Christmas tale. This is one of my favorite movies he’s ever done, right up there with The Departed, Mean Streets, Bring Out the Dead, Casino, The Wolf of Wall Street, etc. Go ahead, rewatch it and tell me now you don’t see/feel/hear the Christmas festivity I’m talking about.
